I Am Out of My Mind

Well sorry for a lack of posting over the last few weeks. I had injured my back, first at the gym and second on the mountain, to the point where sitting was about as uncomfortable as is getting a jack hammer through my spine. I have now healed for the most part, and am back with my butt getting to the work of reforming its groove that had been losing shape over its absence. The reason for the title is simple. I have done something completely out of character, and I am going out of my comfort zone to experience something which I have always wanted to do regardless of my fears. As my (3) readers know I am a nerd. I have many posts dedicated to this, but in this particular case I am referring to my history nerdiness. I was looking for a study abroad program in Greece for the summer after this year, but when I talked to a counselor about what I still needed to graduate I found out that I would need to take summer classes in a foreign language to graduate on time, so a summer in Greece was really out of the question. After this depressing realization when talking with my friend, who wanted to do the same study abroad and was foiled by the same class, we realized that after the end of our class and before we headed back to school there would be time for a short flight over some small body of water and a few days in Europe. We set to work planning a trip that was really expected to be a figment of my imagination, but soon it became more and more real as the sum of money needed became reasonably doable. So after four days of planning I bought tickets, and proceeded to freak out beyond all measurable insanity. All the “what ifs” that could go wrong keep interjecting into my thoughts. The worst is the money issues, which are amplified by my not working because of my back. I will go back to work and I will make the money. This is what I need to remember. I am so excited to go that I have already checked out for the summer, and I still have this term to finish and two more to go until I am done and ready to leave.
The plan is still in its infancy but I will relate it as I know it right now. We will start by flying into JFK, then on to Madrid, and finally on to our destination of Athens. We will spend two nights in Athens, and then catch a flight to Crete where we will stay two to three nights. Then flying back to Athens, we will catch a train to Patria and the ferry from that port will take us on to Venice. After two nights in Venice, we will ride another train down to Florence where we will spend three nights. Taking our last train ride we will arrive down in Rome where we will spend five nights and then fly back home on the same route, except for an extra stop in Georgia. It should be quite a trip. At the moment I think I am just as scared for it as I am excited, but the more I plan the less fear I have. I know there are many things I cannot plan, and would not want to, but it makes it easier to negotiate those decisions when you know where you are going to sleep that night. I am so out of my element in doing something like this that I do not know how I got into it in the first place. I just know that the awe factor will keep me going through the poverty necessary to save the money I need, or I could just sell some drugs. I hear there is a lot of money in that.

Another Year in the Books and I Miss it Already

I started a conversation only mere hours after the Super Bowl. A discussion that really opened my eyes and saddened my soul. A female friend of mine was talking to me about her viewing of the big game and how she really did not understand any of it. She went on to say that she finally understood the idea of what a first down was after a few drinks and a lot of shouting by crazed pigskin fans. I offered my educational skills to help her get at least the basics. I was expecting a lack of interest but was surprised by her reaction. She was ecstatic by the offer, so I started to work out logistics in my mind when a paralyzing depression engulfed me in despair. She could not have had worse timing. My wounds were still fresh and denial had my mind incapable of seeing my truly dim reality.

The Colts win, Peyton is the MVP, in a game that no man deserved it alone, and Dungy finally gets his well deserved ring that barely eluded him with my Bucks. All of these events I wanted but still something was not right with me, and it took that conversation to awaken me. I shed a tear on a day which should be a national holiday celebrating the end of something so American. The Superbowl is one thing but this is the end of football as we know it. No more pro, college is long gone, and i think even arena league is done. The next taste of football you get to look forward to is the NFL combine results for your favorite college players, the draft, and the new freshmen class for your respective colleges. This is where we all must part ways with football and let the writers take over with the speculation. It is always hard when someone so close to you deserts you, but she will always come crawling back. I know that I will always take her back, and she will never leave my mind for as long as I breath and can fill my lungs with that distinctly fall smell. This is the only instance where football will be known as a she only because of the ability of football to leave we always wanting more. I knew this goodbye would get sappy but I need to remember the good times. LT breaking the TD and scoring record, Drew Brees leading the Saints out of the gutter, Florida beating down the "unstoppable" Buckeyes, and Oregon State knocking down that two point conversion to beat the mighty Trojans all these events have made this football season one worth the cushion ware. I will miss it, but I think when my spring fling arrives I can forget my lost love for a while.

Daaa da dada da daaa da dada da daaa da dadadada

For those of you who did not know, Star Wars is an obsession of mine. In my completely Star Wars nerditude I had lofty goals of ending the Empires reign of terror by watching all six of the Star Wars movies, in order, in one day. Even with all my knowledge and a deep feeling of desire to complete my quest I was defeated during my stint on Hoth by the dreaded alcohol of vodka. I was put out of commission until the morning where I restarted The Empire Strikes Back and completed it. Our attempt at salvaging our mission went aground when we were too exhausted for the rest of Return of the Jedi, we all fell asleep by Endor time with Wickit. I should have been executed on the spot for the shame I felt in my failure as nerd. I think my downfall came since we stared our drinking at 1:00 pm to deal with the incessant stupidity of Jar Jar. I have vowed that in the month of February I will form an alliance to retake what I have lost and rout those movies once and for all, returning balance that was lost when I was overtaken. I guess it is not really balance. It would be the good guys winning, which I never understood about Star Wars but whatever. If you would like to be a part, let me know. The drinking will not start until A New Hope at the earliest. Those who attend from the onset can participate in the forming of the drinking game which will again be made from scratch. Bring your light sabers if you have them, and if you are a hot lady the gold bikini or Padme’s torn up white outfit from Episode II would be just fine to wear. Who am I kidding, this is a Star Wars movie marathon, there will be no hot ladies. If you are a hot lady, and love Star Wars, and you show up, prepare for me to ask for your hand in marriage. All I know is that it will be one hell of a nerdtastic party.

Well I know this is a bit different than my normal writing, but I just thought I would switch some things up. So here it goes. Tell me what you think.

Affliction

A pause of mind
Moments, images, they infect our clarity
Their deepest regrets ignite a sickness
Stomach churns over what was lost and destroyed
Its acid burning at the heart which is most afflicted
Deforming manipulating tooling the heart to turn
Its serrate edge hacking the thoughts of you and me
Severed into memories of me without you
The body responds
Sinews repair, cells reform, order restored
Infection turned recession
Harmless out of the moment Crippling over the ages

Oh Back to School Back to School... You Get the Picture

The first week back with our nose to the grindstone and it is looking to be a very interesting but very taxing term. This is the first term I have actually decided to apply myself in the arena of reading what my teachers have asked me to, and it turns out that I will have to read it all or I will get horrible grades. I have already read about as much as any other term and it is barely keeping me in the black. It is incredible. I have two ancient Greek history classes and I have to read the entirety of Homer's Odyssey in four weeks, and that is a huge book, and that is just one of the classes. I also have this same teacher for my other Greek class so the reading load is just as big, a lot of plays, a good chunk of the Iliad, and some works of Aristotle. For the topper I found out today, when I went to class, that I had accidentally signed up for an online course leaving me with no other choice than to read the text.

I had always been the guy who showed up for class, took a few notes, but just remembered most of the lecture when it came to test time. Now it is life's little revenge to overload me with material that the professor will never cover in class. It is said that your study habits will rarely, if ever, change once you have them set in your mind. I think the only reason that I have actually read these texts is because it is a very interesting topic that was a big draw for me into my major in the first place. The only trouble I see in the near future is the reading I have to do for my online class. It is a sociology class on marriage and intimacy that might, or might not, catch my attention. If I am not interested, there will be trouble ahead. I am already forced to work a lot less and I might have to be looking for a new job because I do not have the schedule or time for a full day on the job site, it feels good to actually be trying to get the most out of all my classes instead of just looking for the grade. I will not be forgetting the grade, but I am hoping for some more retention than normal.

It is the Beginning of the End

I just saw a Friday Night Lights commercial with "The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance as the background music. I really hope this is not a sign for the apocalypse for a most excellent band. It might just be part of my music snobbery but this is really depressing.

A Christmas for the Records

As all of my readers should know my family does an interesting Christmas. Between opening everything on Christmas Eve because of an impatient great grandpa, to reading the Night Before Christmas with pages missing waiting for Santa with all rest of the kids (the youngest being 10 up to my brother Cory who is 27, still kids) , to mocking my little brother for accidentally tossing his a lift ticket into our fire place where it proceeded to it burn to his horror this event happened about six years ago and we will never let him live it down, and to all the guys wearing a pair of boxers on our head for our traditional Christmas photo we have quite a holiday that we celebrate. With all this going on it was still impossible to miss the massive milestone that I should have seen coming, but hindsight always makes you look oblivious to what seemed unavoidable.

I know that when I turned 21 it was an official marker that I was now a member of the adult world, but I did not think that things would change so fast and be seen most in a child's favorite day of the year. Everyone was receiving gifts appropriate for them and there places in life; my Dad gets a new kitchen knife, my little cousin received a football and a beavers hat to replace his ugly yellow one, and so on with the rest of the family. I was gifted a new Carhart beanie with an orange rain gear jacket from my father and a heating pad from my aunt and uncle. I am old. That is all there is to it because I liked all these things, and people knew to get them for me.

When I received these gifts it gave me an opportunity to look back at Christmases past and see all the changes. From the years where you could hardly see the tree or the mass of brightly covered boxes with my youngest cousin still being the baby and the elder cousin, along with my brother and I, were dreaming of the awesome toys we would receive, to those times where the family was not doing so well finacialy and family was even more important than ever, and finally to this year where my brother had to work and could not make it home for Christmas, and I got a heating pad. All this time the magic was depleting but my family has been filling what was left with great traditions of family togetherness. I guess I am satisfied with this shift in my Christmas status. Over the years the more and more practical girft have found their way under the tree with my name on the paper and I am alright with that. I will miss the Star Wars Legos, but I have friends and extra Christmas money for that. Maybe some day I might actually get to eat at the grown-up table, but I think Cory might have to be there for a while first, baby steps.

The Results Are In!

So the grades are in and they are about exactly what I expected them to be.

A. Western Civ 101

A. US Government 101

B+. US Politics 102

B. US History 201

I guessed that I would earn two A's and two B's, so the plus was an added bonus. I guess somewhere in my heart of hearts I hoped I would have pulled that third A, but that would have been greedy for the amount of class I missed. Now my accumulative GPA is a 3.38 and my original goal was to graduate college with at least a 3.0. That goal seems a bit minuscule compared to what it should be for my arrogant self, but who really knows how difficult it will be. Me being as I am, always wanting to put another bit of effort into things, I really want to try and graduate with a 3.5. It is really late in my college carrier to make too much of a dent in my GPA but I always like a challenge. I guess a 1.2 point shift would be tough a third of the way into my junior year. It would also be a bit meaningless since it will not be printed on my degree or taken in on a job application, but what the hell it will keep me focused on school since more and more I just want to get out.